The Spirit of 12 Step Work Brings Power Even When The Electric Power Goes Out.
I do a daily gratitude text with several women in my AA recovery circle and I was surprised to read one of my friends note “I am grateful Noeréna has her power back”. She was talking about electric power that went out from the tornado activity that hit the shore of Lake Erie on the West side of Cleveland, Ohio.
Seeing the phrase brought the question to mind: “Did I lose my power?”
She was talking about the electric power that shut down lights, elevators, cell, internet, air conditioning in my building and stores and homes for over three hundred thousand people around me. And my friend was making a reference to the familiar phrase in AA around “powerlessness over my active addiction”.
My “electric” power came back after 6 days and 5 nights. My personal power stayed on throughout the challenges of walking up and down five floors several times each day. My personal power was connected to the work I have been doing for over four decades: Expect the Best, but Prepare for the Worst”.
Staying Grounded in Personal Power and Recovery
I expect to remain in active recovery. I expect there will be challenges.
I expect that HUGE changes can come at me without notice.
Two hours before the tornado hit I was swimming laps in the pool by the edge of the dropoff into Lake Erie. I was under the massive tree that offered comfort and shade in the corner of the pool. The day of the storm, I followed my personal ritual of treading water as I looked to the tree and said out loud
“Thank you for your strength, for all the years you have offered shelter in this corner of the pool. Thank you for all the joy and comfort you have given those who have visited this pool, lived in this apartment complex, and thank you for the changes I have witnessed over each season. Thank you for the wisdom you carry in your scared trunk, still standing all these years. Thank you for holding the earth in place at the shore. Thank you.”
I did not see the tree fall into the pool during the storm. I had my cats in the back bedroom away from the shaking windows during the peak of the winds. When I returned the pool was filled with limbs and leaves from my beloved friend. I had once again lost that which I cherished.
Learning from Loss and Change
But what I gained was a hard lesson that massive change happens even when I least expect it.
I learned that all the Earth Based Spiritual work combined with Knowledge of Grief had taken center stage. Where the tree had stood now there was open space. My power and my recovery were secure.
All that is possible continues to be. I had the responsibility to walk through the days and nights without electric power using my full power as a Spiritual Being having a human experience. I am grateful.
Quarter Century of 12 Step Work
I have been in what I call “Radical Sobriety” for over a quarter of a century and most of the time I am connected to a strong sense of personal power and a HUGE sense of Spiritual connection. Gratitude will do that for a person. I have grown comfortable within the 12 steps and they have been intertwined into a very personalized philosophy of living. Be kind, be generous, and be not afraid.
What I know about 12 Step recovery, no matter what addiction is in our past, what I know about recovery and abstinence is that it can be a lonely world if left to my old thinking. When surprised, or more recently when shocked by the impact of something I could not see coming there can be moments when I am struck with a sense of hopelessness.
I can be lost in self pity and fear until I connect with one of the most powerful tools the early 12 steppers put into the core principles of 12 step work. Within the Serenity Prayer said at many traditional AA meetings is the answer: Acceptance is the key.
Finding Gratitude in the Journey
Thank you for traveling this journey with me, Dr. Noeréna
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